Title: Non cederò, ma io l'amo e lo so.
Series: Kateikyo Hitman Reborn
Warnings: Language...Lots of it...
Rating: Let's go with 'R'
Author's Notes: Dedicated to Van-chan! monochrome_59
explains all the context of the fic, theme and the dedication.
The first time he said it earned the idiot a black eye and blue balls for a week.
Because somehow he'd gotten it into his pea-sized brain that saying some retarded shit like that was romantic or something.
And so what if it sorta was and your heart had done this fucked up little spastic flipping thing when you heard it?
This thing that you had wasn't a relationship and you sure as hell weren't in fucking love.
When Tenth sees his eye and notices that you're a little more pissed off and on edge than usual, you wave his concerns away.
It certainly isn't anything important enough to concern himself with. Not when the whole famiglia had to focus on finding a way to neutralize the members of the Gesso discreetly before that future-that-you-no-longer-want-to-discus
s actually becomes your future once more.
Because you know, in that future, theres no Tenth and the Moron is the only one left for you to truly rely on.
And shit like that sounds way too fucking fuzzy when you weren't even in like
So you keep going. Follow Tenth's and Hibari's and that Irie bastard's plan all the way through. To the letter.
And so does he.
And when he comes back to the base from a mission with his chin split in fucking two and bleeding all of the damn place, your stomach falls to your feet.
Not because he's hurt. No. Definitely not. But because it's the first sign so far that says that not everything in that era can be changed.
So you're smoking more and you're drinking more and if you're lucky you'll get some form of cancer that'll take you out long before you ever have to see that fucking coffin again.
Apparently you're chatty when you're drunk and the baseball idiot can't keep his mouth shut.
Because of course he tells the Tenth, who immediately orders you to stop doing both and to see one of the family appointed shrinks twice a week.
So you do. Because that's what a good right-hand man does. And even if you were willing to give up that position to die, just so you would never have to see your boss go before you doesn’t change the fact you were Tenth’s right-hand.
Only now you have no more forms of stress relief left, not even when you hear that Genkishi has defected to the Gesso and the Giglio Nero have refused to enter the alliance with the Vongola. And that is the idiots fault.
And it's quite obviously then his responsibility to find or provide a solution.
He laughs that stupid fucking laugh when you shove him against the wall, so you silence him with your tongue down his throat, hands halfway down his trousers.
You force him to take you right there. Hard. Against that fucking all and you may even be bleeding a bit because of it.
You aren't fucking scared anymore.
When he has his arms wrapped around you and he's panting fucked up and ridiculous things in your ear, somehow you forget to be terrified. You forget that any day now, you're waiting on baited breath to hear that the Gesso have absorbed the Giglio Nero.
And no, it is not because he's holding you like he'll have to be killed before he'll be able to let go.
It's because even if he was a moron in every other aspect of life, at least he knew how to do something right.
The next day Tenth looks at funny when you refuse to sit down in a meeting and start popping pain-killers like fucking acid.
And even though it breaks your heart to lie to him and you know he knows this and knows the fucked up truth, you do it anyhow.
"Training accident." You say and his eyebrow raises "I ell off of Uri when she was big and right onto my ass. Really painful. Might have broken something."
You remind yourself to disembowel Yamamoto with his own fucking sword when he starts snickering.
But first you make him suck you off in the office you share. Because he's good for something at least...